Teachers and parents have the same overall goal — to encourage their children to become functioning, educated, adaptable members of society. Unfortunately, when parents quarrel with teachers, the children suffer. On the other hand, if they can work together, they have the potential to drastically improve the child’s academic performance.
Parents get mad at teachers over disagreements concerning their child’s educational needs (i.e., IEPs, accelerated programs, academic requirements for athletics, etc.), differing opinions on politics and other polarizing topics, and misunderstanding or miscommunication.
This article examines three primary reasons parents become angry with teachers and how the two can work together to resolve these issues with a good-faith solution. Read on to learn more.
Disagreements Concerning Educational Needs
Teachers are often met with anger and criticism from parents when they recommend or don’t recommend specific educational programs for children. Let’s look at three examples.
Individualized Education Programs
When a child struggles academically, a teacher or educational professional may suspect a disability. As such, they may recommend additional study or support to meet the child’s educational needs, such as a referral for an individualized education program (IEP) evaluation. This program is designed to better accommodate children with disabilities, such as dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and others.
Administrators must obtain parental consent before moving forward with an evaluation.
Why Parents Get Angry
Parents or guardians who are unfamiliar with these supportive programs may respond with anger; this is usually due to misconceptions surrounding IEPs. Parents may feel that the teacher is claiming their child is of below-average intelligence or dealing with a behavioral disorder — that is not always the case.
On the other hand, parents might request an IEP evaluation, only to be denied. If the school refuses to classify a child for an IEP, a parent may feel the school is preventing their child’s access to appropriate educational services. This can lead to extreme anger.
What Parents Can Do
It’s in the best interest of the child to move forward with IEP evaluations. These evaluations check for disabilities that affect cognition and ability to concentrate, focus, and learn. By disregarding the recommendation entirely, parents fail to understand the potential reasons for their child’s academic struggles.
During an IEP Team meeting, parents can ask questions and discuss any concerns. They are also within their rights to refuse the evaluation altogether. However, refusal means their child remains a general education student; the school is under no obligation to provide academic accommodations.
When a child is denied an IEP after a parental request, there are ways to appeal. If a school denies an IEP, they must explain their reasoning in writing and give the parent the opportunity to challenge the decision.
For more information regarding talking to your child’s teacher about a concern, check out this YouTube video from Nicholeen Peck:
Gifted or Accelerated Programs
Some students have above-average intelligence or simply learn and retain information faster than others. These students often test higher than average and seem bored or unchallenged by the current general education curriculum. To keep them engaged in their academic studies, teachers may recommend placement in other programs, such as higher-level classes or accelerated curriculums.
Why Parents Get Angry
When teachers place students in advanced classes, they have to pass over other children. Parents may become upset at this, feeling their child has what it takes to participate in these advanced initiatives — so why are they being looked over?
If parents aren’t aware of the teacher’s reasoning, they might take the decision personally, feeling their child is being unfairly treated or denied the opportunity for advanced education. The issue arises more in high school when parents believe that a teacher’s decision could potentially jeopardize their child’s future education or career opportunities.
What Parents Can Do
Though it’s unfortunate to miss out on these educational opportunities, parents must understand that teachers often have a limited number of students they can recommend for these programs. Therefore, they choose who they think the class would benefit the most.
Additionally, teachers may feel that some students, regardless of how advanced, are better suited for general education. It might be due to attendance issues, trouble paying attention, lack of participation, or other factors.
Not only that, but parents should trust the teacher’s judgment concerning their child. Teachers spend anywhere from six to seven hours per day for nearly half the year with their students. It’s safe to say they have an idea of their academic abilities and educational needs.
If a parent has concerns, they should speak with the teacher and set up a conference to discuss the matter in detail. After the meeting, if they still feel unheard, they can move up the chain of command until they reach a solution.
Academic Requirements and Athletics
Most school districts require that students maintain a minimum grade point average to participate in athletics and other extracurricular activities. These guidelines are in place to prevent children from putting athletics and hobbies ahead of their education.
Why Parents Get Angry
Many parents push their children to participate in sports, seeing it as a ticket to scholarships and potential career paths. Therefore, being told their child cannot participate in athletics can majorly jeopardize their scouting chances, scholarship opportunities, and future career opportunities.
So, if a teacher fails a student, lowering their GPA, parents may take it personally, feeling that the teacher has it out for their child. As such, parents hold a grudge against the instructor.
The truth is that teachers do not “have it out” for their students — this is so rare. In fact, the most common reason why a student fails a class is, well, because they aren’t putting in the required effort.
What Parents Can Do
Parents should emphasize the importance of academics over athletics and should stay just as involved in their child’s education as they are in their extracurricular activities. Children need guidance and encouragement to meet academic goals, first and foremost, and secondly, to achieve success in other areas of interest.
When parents have concerns about their child’s GPA and how it impacts athletics, they should speak to the teachers. Teachers can provide recommendations on how to help the student improve academically and may offer extra credit, tutoring, or study sessions. Remember that instructors are there to help your child succeed, so reach out whenever you have concerns.
Differing Opinions
Teachers are human beings and have autonomy regarding what they think, feel, and believe. There’s no doubt that parents and teachers will have differing opinions on politics, religion, and ideologies at some point during the child’s education. However, these differences don’t have to take center stage, nor do they need to negatively impact the student’s education.
While teachers are discouraged from freely expressing religious and political views within a classroom setting, they do have a constitutional right to free speech outside of work. Not only that, but students are well within their rights to express their own views within a classroom, as long as it doesn’t cause disruption.
Why Parents Get Angry
Parents who are very rigid in their beliefs may not appreciate their child coming home with stories of politically-charged discussions at school. The parent may feel as though their child is being indoctrinated, or the district is pushing certain ideologies. This has become such a fear among some parents that bills have been introduced to prevent teachers from bringing politics into the classroom.
What Parents Can Do
Although it’s important for teachers to maintain a sense of neutrality when discussing polarizing topics, and instead encourage critical thinking, it’s also important that parents recognize there are differing views in the world.
The ability to meet in the middle, compromise, and come to a solution that works for everyone depends on knowing and understanding both sides. By suggesting that a public institution, such as a school, meet their needs and only their needs, they denying the liberties of others — in essence, doing exactly what they claim to be fighting against.
No country achieves great things by caring only about the needs, wants, beliefs, and interests of a single person or group. You cannot have it one way while maintaining freedom and liberty. Therefore, parents should encourage critical thinking, allowing their children to make decisions for themselves instead of blaming teachers for what’s said in the classroom.
Misunderstandings or Miscommunication
Many cases of parents becoming angry with teachers can be chalked up to poor communication.
Let’s look at a hypothetical example:
Jaylen, a freshman in high school, arrives home with a failing grade in algebra. His parents question the grade. He tells them that he completed all of the required work, participated in the class discussions, and passed all of the exams — he has no idea why he’s flunking.
His parents are outraged. Why would the teacher fail him if he’s completed all of the necessary work? They believe that the teacher must have something against their son. Instead of reaching out to see what went wrong, the parents send her an email, belittling her for her “incompetence.”
Had the parents reached out and addressed the concerns in a more mature manner, they would have learned that Jaylen had skipped class fifteen days out of the year, hadn’t turned in 60 percent of his assignments, and received a failing grade on the final exam.
Why Parents Get Angry
Parents often rely on their children as the sole source of information regarding school happenings. Unfortunately, children aren’t always completely honest when it comes to school, especially when they’re not holding themselves accountable.
Not only that, but parents may also get mixed messages or inaccurate information from students. With the hustle and bustle of school life, from academics to socialization, it can be difficult for a student to focus on announcements and daily happenings.
So, if you’re wondering when to send money for yearbooks or when summer camp sign-ups begin, it’s best to communicate with the school directly.
What Parents Can Do
Parents should sympathize and maintain effective, regular communication with their child’s teachers. This can encourage positive academic outcomes in the student. On the contrary, parents that engage in stressful confrontations with a child’s teacher create a negative environment that adversely affects a child’s academic performance.
The best way for a parent to take an active role in their child’s education is by staying informed and communicating. Here are a few ways a parent can stay in the loop:
- Check the student’s grades regularly.
- Read all forms and letters sent home.
- Examine the student’s agenda at the end of every week.
- Read the school’s weekly newsletter.
- Check school announcements and calendars on the district website.
- Reach out to teachers with questions or concerns.
Conclusion
The two most important tools for a child’s academic success are communication and collaboration with the teacher and district. Of course, it’s normal to become frustrated from time to time, but allowing the anger to consume you does nothing to remedy the situation.
Teachers and parents have the same goal in mind — to encourage positive growth in the child — and anger thwarts this plan by hurting everyone involved. Therefore, instead of resorting to anger, combine the knowledge that you share of your child with the teacher’s knowledge and work together to give the child what they need to succeed.
Sources
- Cadence Education: How Teachers Can Deal With Angry Parents – Dos and Don’ts
- A Day in Your Shoes: Can a Parent Refuse Special Education Services?
- Susan Clark Law Group: What To Do If Your Child Was Denied Special Education Services
- Western Governors University: Parent-Teacher Conflict Management
- Education Week: Teachers, Politics, and Social Media – A Volatile Mix
- Washington Post: Teachers Are Told Not to Get Political in the Classroom
- Teach Magazine: Why Parents Don’t Respect Teachers
- Edutopia: Parents and Teachers – Turning Conflicts Into Partnerships