What To Do If Your Students Hate Each Other (Teacher’s Guide)

A day in the classroom is not always full of smiling students eager to learn. Classroom dynamics can be complicated and, depending on the age of the students, there is bound to be some animosity and disagreements between the students. But what can you do when your students actually hate each other?

If students hate each other, teachers need to set specific classroom behaviors that will help guide proper student interaction. They must also help students understand how hostile behavior negatively affects others and how students can uplift their peers instead of tearing them down.

If you are dealing with hate in the classroom and are not sure how to properly handle the situation, rest assured that you will be able to get things under control. Here are some things that you can do to prevent hostile interactions between students.

Table of Contents

Set Classroom Rules for Proper Behavior

First things first: you have to set ground rules for the class. This way, you and your students can be on the same page regarding the type of behaviors that are acceptable and unacceptable in the classroom.

How To Properly Set Classroom Rules

When establishing rules, the goal is to make them reasonable, easy to follow, and easy to remember. If you have not yet set ground rules for behavior inside the classroom, you should start getting to work ASAP.

Here’s how you can effectively set classroom do’s and don’ts.

Be Clear and Concise

This is true no matter the age of your students but is even more critical for young children. Rules should be short and clear so that there is no gray area in the interpretation of the rules they are to follow.

An example of a clear and concise rule is “Use respectful and kind words.” This is short, clear, and specific enough so that students know exactly what you mean. This eliminates potential arguments later on, where students may say they are not “exactly” breaking any rules.

Explain Each Rule Thoroughly

It’s not enough to have “Classroom Rules” posted in your classroom bulletin. You need to make sure that they understand each rule exactly–and not just how they should behave, but why they should behave that way.

When students fail to understand the purpose of those rules, they will not be able to appreciate or respect them as they should. So, make sure that you allow enough time to discuss these rules and entertain questions about them. This will help you make sure that your student’s understanding of them is correct.

Explain Consequences for Breaking Classroom Rules

If there are no consequences for breaking the rules, students will take them lightly. So part and parcel of establishing rules are explaining the consequences of breaking them. When doing so, maintain a calm and hopeful tone so as not to give them unnecessary fear.

However, be firm in explaining that breaking the rules will be meted with appropriate punishment. An example of such consequences would be to give an erring student time out from the rest of the class. Make sure that consequences are appropriate for the student’s age, school culture, and within legal parameters.

Make Sure You Are Following School Guidelines

When establishing classroom rules, make sure that you consult school guidelines and work around them. This will help you avoid any legal problems later on.

In cases where a certain rule that you feel you need to set for your class is not clearly tackled in your school’s policies, set an appointment with the school admin before implementation.

Make It a Goal that All Races Are Respected in Class

If you have a racially diverse classroom, it’s both an opportunity for growth for your students and yourself. But it can also be a tremendous challenge, especially in cases of racial discrimination.

In fact, one-third of high school students in the US perceive racial discrimination in their schools. That’s an incredibly high number, and our role as educators is to reduce the number of cases of racial discrimination among our students.

And if you think about it, much of the name-calling and bullying often starts from a lack of respect for people of a different race or culture. Make sure that your students understand that such behavior will not be tolerated under any circumstance.

Give Timely Corrections for Hateful Speech and Behavior

When giving corrections for inappropriate behavior, timing is crucial. If you fail to address rule-breaking when it happens or immediately after, you are sending the message that the rules do not really matter. Students will lose their respect for these rules and feel emboldened to break them again when the next opportunity comes.

So when a student says something inappropriate, take note of it and talk to the offending student in private. Implement appropriate consequences for the behavior right away, but do so in a way where you can help the student understand why their behavior was wrong. Also, it’s essential to ask the student to apologize to whomever they have hurt.

When a fight breaks out between classmates, you can break up the fight in front of other classmates but still talk to the students involved in private immediately after the fight occurs. Reprimanding students in public may be tempting at the moment, but it can only do more harm than good.

It may only humiliate offending students and make them even more aggressive and hostile. The goal of correcting students is to help them do the right thing next time, and not merely to punish them for their actions.

Watch the following YouTube video for more tips on how to deal with a disrespectful student.

Understand the Root of Hate

As a teacher, it’s part of your responsibility not just to make sure that you spot hateful speech or behavior, but also understand what’s causing it. There can be various reasons why students put each other down, and knowing what these are will help you deal with the problem more effectively.

Some common reasons for hate in the schools are as follows:

Race. This is the most common reason for hate speech and behavior in schools. When doing your rounds of the school or observing how your students behave in class, notice how they interact with classmates of different race or nationality. Be extra vigilant for students who make threats, whether jokingly or with some seriousness, and deal with them immediately.
Alienated students. Look out for students who seem to have difficulty fitting in with their classmates. They are often easy targets for bullies. If you see students being left out of groups, social activities, or other events, make it a point to get them involved. Invite them over, and encourage activities that will help them make friends.
Differences in culture. It’s common for children to make fun of things that are different or that they don’t understand. So talking about other cultures where things are done differently will help them understand that just because they do things differently doesn’t mean they’re inferior.

Desire to feel superior. Some kids may think they will get validation from showing that they can push others around. This is common among children who do not receive affirmation or love from family or friends.

Educate Students on Hate Speech and Behavior

In many cases, classroom or school rules are not enough to build a culture of respect and mutual understanding. Forums or seminars that address hate speech and behavior will help students learn what words mean and how much weight they carry.

In these activities, try to create an atmosphere of openness by encouraging students to acknowledge what’s going on in their school. Ask how many of them have experienced being called derogatory terms or have been bullied. Have them talk about how these have affected them.

However, remember that most students may not be vocal or willing to share their experiences, especially in a group setting where their bullies are present. Don’t force them to share if they’re not ready to.

Educating students does not have to be in a formal setting, though. You can effectively teach them even without organizing a seminar.

Here are some ways you can do so:

Make it a school-wide effort. One teacher can’t stop hate among students. It has to be the collective effort of all the teachers, non-teaching staff, administrators, canteen staff, and even the bus drivers. Make sure that everyone is vigilant and ready to report any inappropriate behavior.
Make school events inclusive and conducive to cooperation. Healthy competitions are great, but make sure that they don’t foster competitiveness at the expense of kindness and empathy. If you notice that students are starting to treat their opponents as enemies or form strong negative emotions against them, then there might be a need to change the format, theme, or chants in these events.
Encourage students to speak up against hate or bias. Whenever you hear a student blurt out a slur or a derogatory word, you should stand up to them. This will give other students the confidence to stand up and speak out without throwing the same words back at those who bully them. Be careful not to allow such situations to escalate or turn into a fight. Talk to the offending student in private immediately after the incident.

Ask for Help

If hate has become too pervasive in your school and no matter what you do, it won’t seem to go away, don’t hesitate to involve your school’s administrators or call an expert or the authorities to mediate. There are delicate situations where bullied students may become depressed or suicidal after a barrage of hate speech.

If you are unsure about how to handle the matter, it’s always best to ask for help from someone who does.

Final Thoughts

Handling hate in the classroom can be challenging, especially since every student is different. Cultures can vary from school to school, making it hard for a one-size-fits-all approach to combat hate in the classroom. Still, I hope the tips we have laid out above will help you make your classroom a place of mutual respect, understanding, and empathy.