Teachers must know their students well to create personalized learning experiences and pick up when something might be wrong in a student’s life. But asking for students’ personal information can go from a helpful teaching and safeguarding tool to an invasion of privacy or inappropriate behavior if teachers aren’t careful. Do teachers cross the line when asking personal questions?
It’s appropriate for teachers to ask personal questions only for effective lesson planning and teaching, such as about students’ interests. Teachers mustn’t ask personal questions about sensitive matters. Only trained mental health experts should handle serious personal or social problems.
Teachers might find it challenging to hold back questions when they think something is wrong. But pushing students to talk can backfire. There are ways to help students open up about their problems without infringing on their right to privacy or making them feel uncomfortable. I’ll give guidelines for what personal questions are okay to ask and how to avoid going too far.
Are Teachers Allowed To Ask Students Personal Questions?
It would be close to impossible for teachers to do their job properly if they weren’t allowed to ask any personal questions.
Teachers need to know personal things about students, such as their likes and dislikes, interests, and everyday experiences. This information lets teachers plan lessons the students find relevant and appealing.
Teachers also ask personal questions to help students pinpoint their strengths, weaknesses, hopes, and goals.
These are examples of personal questions that teachers can ask to enhance the learning experience:
- What inspires you in the classroom?
- What is your favorite thing about school, and why?
- When do you feel people are listening to you?
- What do you find most challenging about school?
On the flip side, there are personal questions about sensitive matters that teachers shouldn’t ask. We’ll now zero in on these questions and why they’re off-limits.
Personal Questions Teachers Shouldn’t Ask
Teachers should never ask questions that make students feel threatened, embarrassed, or uncomfortable. This questioning clashes with teachers’ responsibility to help students feel safe, relaxed, and confident so they can learn effectively.
At the top of the red list are questions about serious personal or social problems students might be experiencing.
It’s also inappropriate for teachers to ask personal questions that lead to the teacher becoming overfamiliar with students, especially outside school hours and grounds. So, a teacher asking students personal questions via private social media accounts at night is an absolute no-go.
Sometimes teachers struggle to stop themselves from asking about sensitive topics, as it’s not nosiness or impure intentions that drive their questions but concern for students’ mental and physical well-being. Suppose a teacher suspects a student is in trouble. They might then feel compelled to question the student to uncover potential problems.
These teachers might believe they’re acting in students’ best interests by asking personal questions. However, their involvement can backfire for the following reasons:
The Questioning Can Infringe On Students’ Right To Privacy
Teachers can invade students’ privacy by asking questions about sensitive matters students don’t want to disclose. Even if a teacher asks something casually, their position of power can make students feel pressured to reveal information they want to keep to themselves.
The Questioning Can Upset The Student Or Their Parents
Teachers might misinterpret signs, prompting them to imagine dangers. Students and their parents would likely feel offended by questions that imply wrongdoing when none exists.
Even if you have built strong parent-teacher relationships with parents, they will not take kindly to a teacher wanting to know personal family information.
The Questioning Can Make Problems Worse
While teachers come close to being superheroes, they’re not trained social workers and must not try to take on this role. Only qualified, skilled mental health practitioners should handle serious issues students face, like abuse, neglect, self-harm, or bullying.
How Teachers Can Help Students Without Asking Personal Questions
Teachers spend lots of time with students and are often the first to spot changes in students’ personalities or behavior that might mean trouble.
Just because teachers mustn’t ask students deeply personal questions doesn’t mean they should ignore signs that something might be wrong in a student’s life.
There are ways for teachers to protect students that don’t involve prying. Here are appropriate ways teachers can help students:
Create An Environment That Invites Students To Speak Freely
While teachers mustn’t solicit sensitive information from students, they should make themselves approachable and listen when students want to speak about problems they’re experiencing.
Teachers can encourage students to open up about their troubles by always showing students compassion.
Research says teachers can adopt the Calm, Clear, Kind (CCK) framework to show their students they care. Here are the basics of the CCK framework:
- Be calm in body. Stay cool, calm, and collectedunder pressure.
- Be clear in mind. Stay mindful,tune into students’ needs, listen attentively,and communicate clearly.
- Be kind-hearted. Stay fair, nurturing, open, and respectful. Show yourself kindness, too.
Want another tip? Here, Mr. Thain shares one simple thing you can do to make students more likely to tell you if something is bothering them:
Look For Signs Of Trouble
Even if teachers are easy to talk to and make their classrooms welcoming, some students might still not speak out about problems they’re dealing with. Students might be afraid to talk because they’ve been threatened to stay quiet, or they might not realize their mental or physical well-being is at risk.
Teachers can’t force students to open up about problems, but they should watch for signs of abuse, neglect, self-harm, and bullying.
Have Group Discussions About Problems Students Might Face
Teachers can tackle sensitive subject matter during group discussions. For example, a general topic, like bullying, could be introduced. The teacher could then ask open-ended questions for volunteers to answer.
Report Potential Problems
Suppose something a student says (either during a student-initiated chat or group discussion) makes a teacher suspect the student might be at risk of harm. In that case, the teacher should report this to the school’s designated child protection representative or social worker.
Teachers should also report any signs of abuse, neglect, self-harm, or bullying they identify.
Final Thoughts
Teachers can go ahead and ask light personal questions to get to know their students better so they can make learning more engaging and effective. But they’re not allowed to fire away questions about serious personal or social problems in one-on-one interactions with students.
There are no limits on listening, however, so teachers should make themselves available whenever students want to speak.
Sources
- Edutopia: Important Questions to Ask Your Students
- K–12 Dive: Should Teachers And Students Connect Through Social Media?
- WGU: 15 Tips For Creating A Safe Learning Environment
- U.S. Department Of Education: Protecting Student Privacy
- Hey Teach!: What Teachers Need To Know About The Role Of A School Social Worker
- Stopbullying.Gov: How To Talk About Bullying
- Sage Journals: What Do Teachers Do To Show They Care? Learning From The Voices Of Early Adolescents
- Hub: Safeguarding Responsibilities Of School Staff
- StopBullying.Gov: Warning Signs For Bullying
- Social Care Institute For Excellence: Safeguarding Children In Education
- NSPCC: Self-Harm